Monkey Insurance Business – EINSURANCE

There is a mathematical theory that if you gave a million typewriters to monkeys and put them to work, they would eventually find all of Shakespeare’s works. Thanks to the internet, we now know that this is not true.

—Ian Hart

As you know, the internet can be a fun and frustrating place. Someone once said that finding something on the Internet is like drinking fire extinguishers. If you Google the word insurance, you will have 3 billion wins. At least with how much you will earn today… Who knows how much you will earn tomorrow.

You’re obviously a serious internet user, because you’ve found a way to go e-Insure Journal. Most of this site is very difficult. After all, insurance is not a one-minute business. Even so, there are sometimes stories on the Internet about insurance jokes, nonsense, and weirdness. If you are Google insurance joke, you’ll still get about 36 million hits. The problem is, you have to criticize a lot of unfunny things to find gems. Therefore, to save you time and effort, we are sharing the findings of such research. Remember that if it is online, it they should to be true. Or funny. Right?

We’ll let you decide.

Many websites that are dedicated to the lighter side of insurance have comics that show what people have written on their auto insurance forms. To increase your memory:

  • The boy was all the way. I had to turn around a few times before I hit him.
  • I saw a slow, sad gentleman climb down from the roof of my car.
  • On the way home I walked into the wrong house and bumped into a tree that wasn’t there.
  • In order to kill flies, I climbed a telephone pole.

These so-called “facts” were widely circulated in print (remember?) and copies years before they hit the Internet. Even so, it’s always good to laugh. One website It also has great photos from insurance companies. It’s worth a look.

With a little digging, you’ll find insurance jokes. A few bears repeating here:

  • Larry’s barn burned down and his wife Susan called the insurance company. Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that fifty thousand insurance policy, and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Oh, just a minute. Insurance doesn’t work like that. An independent will evaluate the insurance price, and then we’ll give you a new quote for the same price.” There was a long silence, and then Susan replied, “If that’s how it works, so I want to cancel my husband’s life insurance.”
  • Private Jones was sent to a military training center, where he had to instruct new recruits about their government benefits, specifically Serviceman’s Group Life Insurance (SGLI). It didn’t take long for the lieutenant of the station to realize that Private Jones had an almost 100% record in insurance sales, which was unprecedented. Instead of asking about this, Lt. He stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’ sales pitch. Jones explained the requirements of SGLI to the recruits, then said. “If you have SGLI and go to war and get killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have SGLI, and you go to war and get killed, the government only has to pay $6,000. Now,” he concluded, “which group do you think they’re going to send?” first to the war?”
  • A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said: “I came because my house burned down and everything I had was destroyed by the fire.” The insurance company paid for everything. ” “That’s just an accident,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by the flood, and my insurance company paid for everything.” The lawyer thought for a while but was surprised. Finally he asked the engineer, “How can you start the flood?”
  • Professionals, lawyers and accountants are discussing the relationship between having a mistress or a wife. A lawyer thinks that it is better to have a mistress, because a woman can take everything if you come to the divorce. An accountant thinks it’s better to have a wife, from a tax perspective. Experts believe that it is better to have both, because when you are not with the woman, they think that you are with the mistress, and when you are not with the mistress, the master thinks that you are with his wife, and in this way, you can. spend more time at the office. (You may need to work in the insurance business, or know an expert to get one!)

If you keep searching, you will find “weird but true” insurance stories and other “real life” insurance jokes. Like this:

  • A young man named Brian Calen said he was blinded four times in the same eye. He filed complaints in 1988, 1992, 1997, and 2002, collecting more than $1 million before he was caught and charged with insurance fraud and grand larceny.
  • And there was an unfortunate man in Switzerland who sued for breaking the back window of his car. He stopped on a hill and forgot to set up a parking space. When he got out of the car, it started to roll down the hill. He chased it. The car came to a sudden stop when it hit the curb, but he didn’t—and ended up in the back seat with several cuts and bruises.
  • In 1945, a headless chicken from Fruita Colorado was insured for $10,000. Enough brain stem was left after the head was cut off that the chicken could still walk. It toured various shows around the world for a year and a half before dying somewhere in Arizona.
  • Lloyd’s of London began operating in Edward Lloyd’s coffee house. Lloyd himself had nothing to do with insurance, but his name is still associated with it more than 300 years later.
  • A sticker on the back of the car: “He has MAFIA insurance. You beat me. We beat you.”
  • Another sticker: “Can atheists get insurance for God’s actions?”
  • The company that provided insurance for the Republican National Convention in San Diego in 1996 was the same company that managed the maiden voyage of the HMS Titanic. No wonder Dole lost to Clinton!
  • How about a lawyer in Charlotte, NC who bought a box of very rare and expensive cigars and protected them from fire, among other things. In less than a month he smoked all his big cigarettes. Before making his first payment on the policy, he filed a complaint with the insurance company saying that the clothes were lost “in a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing an obvious reason: that the man ate the beans as usual. The lawyer sued…and won! Instead of a long and expensive appeal, the insurance company accepted the decision and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of rare cigarettes in the “fire”. However, after the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company charged him with 24 counts of arson! With his insurance policy and evidence from a previous case against him, the lawyer was found guilty of willfully burning his insurance property and sentenced to 24 months in prison and a $24,000.00 fine.

If you still have time and energy to spare, your search will lead you to a number of odd things that have been insured. For example:

  • Abbott & Costello took out insurance to protect themselves financially in the event of a dispute between them.
  • People can buy insurance to cover any damages caused by kidnapping in other countries, including illegal searches and detention.
  • Cutty Sark Whiskey has offered insurance to anyone who claims a million pound prize to catch the Loch Ness Monster.
  • The rice paddy was insured for 13,000 pounds because it contained the letters of the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh.
  • A UK gymnast has insured her (his?) breasts for £300,000.
  • At least, Dolly Parton insured her breasts for $600,000, or so the rumor has it.
  • Betty Grable insured her legs for $1,000,000.
  • So did someone named Johnnie Collier, better known as Ann Miller.
  • So does Mary Hart, host of Entertainment Tonight.
  • Poor Fred Astair’s legs were insured for just $75,000 apiece.
  • Former Charlie’s Angel, Kate Jackson promoted the competition by insuring him for $8 million.
  • Bruce Springstein confirmed his statement for $6 million.
  • A food critic in England confirmed the taste of 250,000 pounds. Just think of it as one way to ensure good taste. (Ba-dum-bum. – Ed.)
  • Finally, the silent film actor Ben Turpin (the actor who went through “Saps at Sea” and “Make Me a Star”) took out an insurance policy of $ 20,000 if his eyes will not be damaged. It is said that he did it as a joke, however, he is known to be the first celebrity to have an organ transplant.

Saving the best for last, Homer Simpson’s insurance form justification for buying Dimoxinil (hair restoration): “To keep the brain from freezing.”

D’oh!

I hope your brain hasn’t dried up after reading this. Now get back to work.

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